The Blob (1988)

This flick is worth taking a look at just to see Kevin Dillon sporting a mullet and a fuck-tha-po-lice attitude.

All in all, it’s not a bad movie, but it follows some painfully boring conventions, which robs it of any originally a re-make might have. For instance, the heroes (here, the pure beauty queen and the leather-jacket-wearing bad boy) not only have to fight the blob, but they also have to contend with The Mean Governmental Agency: in this case, the Men In White (MIW). I think these are the same sons-a-bitches who kidnapped and almost killed ET, which just goes to prove the point: don’t ever trust anyone who tries to hurt ET. Ever. Other horror movies that illustrate this convention are Piranha (good reporter and renegade woodsman) and the original Dawn of the Dead (good scientist and Black, civilian helicopter pilot). It’s interesting to note that this version of The Blob adds this aspect to the plot of the Steve McQueen 1958 version.

The acting is a little more fluid and relaxed than a lot of horror movies--especially those from the 1980s, but it’s still a far cry from realistic or engaging. Some of the story lines are ludicrous: how does a sweet little prom queen from a small town who’d never even taken a sleeping pill before this ill-fated night know how to use an M-16 set to full automatic? Answer me that and this movie makes more sense.

For 1988, the special effects aren’t half bad; there’s some ridiculously obvious green-screen effects (like Flagg running away from the blob toward the end of the movie..."look out for the green screen behind me!), but on the whole, it’s pretty good. It uses green screen technology to produce better effects than some movies made this decade using CGI (see: Piñata Island and any movie produce by the Sci-Fi Channel)! That is just sad, people.

Overall, an average movie made so by its above-average special effects.